The Cynical King was a comic I put out there for about four months in 2002. I say "put out there" loosely because I am quite sure nobody actually saw it. Unlike Nobody Scores! it was not freeform - every single panel was a uniform square. Also unlike Nobody Scores! it was meant to have some kind of continuity.

The comic is about the king of a tiny, tiny island nation, and his misadventures in small-time governance in a big world. Heh. That's funny. If I had been able to sum the comic up in a sentence when I was still doing it, I might have kept doing it longer. It seemed so cumbersomely high-concept at the time.

It is going to be super disorienting for Nobody Scores! readers to look at this cartoon because it features a couple of the main characters in very different roles.

The Cynical King, the ruler of Tengo Island and the main character, is Raoul. Raoul is cynical and misanthropic here, but maybe not so much as he is in Nobody Scores! Admittedly he is up against slightly less. But Raoul is a perfectionist and would like to rule a perfect society, so he's got some Man vs. Self action going on.

He has an underling named Maurice. Maurice is the island's big government. Really, he'd rather be relaxing in the sun, watching girls, and playing what video games manage to make it to Tengo Island's secluded shores. He's kinda got a point.

Now for the tricky part.

The girl who appears a few comics in, the one who looks like Jane Doe? Her name, here, is Sara. That's right. The Cynical King's "Sara" does not have Jane Doe's massive competency issues. In fact, she's a trained ninja commando hwaaa person, and also an environmentalist, wilderness wrangler and animal lover. Possibly a bit too much of an animal lover. You'll see.

I'll let the other several bit characters speak for themselves. There are some comics missing here. This is because of quality control. You aren't missing anything in the storyline, and lord knows you aren't missing good comics. Have fun!