by unpopular request
Suck it plague! Plus heyyy it’s the new year I should do a retrospective thing. I did this last year when nobody was reading – just went through each month and picked out my favorite Nobody Scores! as a way of introducing new readers to the stuff. They weren’t there, but they’d have been introduced. IT’S YOUR FAULT. Now, if I’ve learned anything over the course of the year, it’s that my tastes align with basically nobody’s. People pick out various comics as their favorites and I’m like, that one? So yeah, you’re alien to me, I assume you eat via osmosis and excrete acid spray, but here are the comics of 2007 which I look back upon and I smile. It’s like burying your face in puppies, it is. May your freakish alien race enjoy.
January! – The Paste That Binds! and Wally Rogers The Rescue Dog! Yes! I start this list with indecision!
February! – The Winkerbeaner! Or maybe no forget it aw jeez.
March! – Swords Against Phrasing!
April! – Served Cold!
May! – The Confrontational Dead!
June! – The Maagic Portal of Time! or Frozen Fresh Bonus Pack! Go nuts! I am!
(gasp. wheeze)
July! – Convergence!
August! – Faery Tale Adventures!
September! – Big Fun Big Event Meeting Time!
October! – It’s pretty hard! Octobers are good months for me (I think)! Try Born to Roll! Or Ironic Distance! You can’t lose! Except this is Nobody Scores! You always lose with Nobody Scores!
November! – The Art Of Influence!
December! – Partake of the sort-of breakout hit! Treat yourself to the Feel-Good Romantic Comedy of The Year!
Ok that was very exciting. Wasn’t it. What other cultural products have I been enjoying lately? Let us see. Specific instances. Cartoon-wise you are likely to have seen Onstad vs. Ware but you are unlikely to have seen Dorkin vs. Cartooning or this Troubletown comic – there are no permalinks there, it’s the one starting off with “Obamaphenomena,” and it’s the best thing I’ve read so far about Our Stupid Primaries. Jesus fuck. I just read this. Turns out, Oregon’s like fourth to last out of all the primaries. That race better stay tight. Vote Edwards! And Man for President, let’s spread the fun.
Right, right, President. I’ve kinda moved on. I am now heading the campaign to elect the fuck out of this dude, on account of he appears to rule, engineer style. Like, let’s see Ron Paul pull some of that shit in one of those debates. I didn’t think so.
Here is something that should have been hilarious but isn’t. I dunno, it’s just off a bit. The internet being the internet, the nature of why it isn’t hilarious is currently being discussed, primarily, by prigs. But here, we have what I believe to be a prig-free community. I mean, cannibalism, barbecue fetus-eating, picture-checking the very worst in internet virals, and brick stupid failure at every turn! I think we’re safe. Maybe those aren’t the words. But anyway ha ha stern look I can advance the very serious theory that these pictures would be funnier if instead of mortal wounds – and I do like the ham-hock vertebra touch, it is truly a classic – the models were instead splattered, slathered, pasted with creamy photoshopped poop.
Poop is the key.
I will leave you with the permanently recorded humiliation of Trent Reznor.