the big sleep
What’s this? Welp, once again, Nobody Scores! has staggered – more staggeringly than usual – to its traditional summer vacation, though now it’s barely summer. I’ll get into my plans shortly but mostly this week I have been standing around in public places, mouth agape, a thin line of drool descending to my feet, and I have got to tell you it feels great.
It’s been taking me longer and longer to crank out drawings lately which, tragically, has been giving me longer and longer to conjure up secret details for the comics I draw. For example I came up with all sorts of facts about the aliens that implement The Second Coming and here comes the tragic part because I’m going to tell you all about it.
DON’T CRY FOR ME, EPSILON ERIDANI
It’s possible to infer from the comic that the aliens totally skipped crucial boxer technology on their whole space-race beeline. Also detectable is that the comic implies a world wherein reproducing a given consciousness == resurrecting it, which neatly solves a big problem with teleporters but introduces possible quandaries in re generating multiple copies of a particular consciousness, which I could probably get out of like a cheap Dungeon Master by saying only one copy works, but: cheap.
And ooh! I also decided that these aliens had totally mastered nanotechnology. Doesn’t look like it with their clunky kit, but that’s because it’s all assembled ad-hoc and can be morphed on the fly to deal with engineering problems. Sort of how modern programming is less exacting than the assembly-language code that let you run a word processor in 64k of memory backwhen. But, so, that force-field box effect in the middle of the comic is actually nanotech glass or similar.
Also these aliens can do FTL – didn’t decide how, seemed boring – but even 100x FTL isn’t enough to get you past the logistics of detecting + tracking species over enormous spaces, I don’t think. Space is really quite mind-bogglingly big after all.
CHRYSALIS BUSINESS
Right, pupa mode. This time I am going to change the comic somehow, I just don’t know how yet. There are three hundred and sixty-five of these comics! I counted. That is a lot of comics and I didn’t quite change the cartoon enough last break to keep from going crazy this year. Evidence, above. See, I have DSM-IV personality disorders now. Like, at least three. Not split-personality disorder, that’s deprecated. But I am pretty fucked. Somehow, though, I have considered and rejected a number of whopping changes to the comic. Shit that won’t be happening to Nobody Scores!
• changing to an update-whenever schedule, and throwing like sixteen pages worth of incoherent comics in a dollop at you on September 31st
• changing to a daily four-panel setup-setup-beat-punchline comic until I die of gastrointestinospinal rebellion in, like, a week or two
• completely changing the cast and (physical, not metaphysical) setting. Oh you think I am lying but I have an alternate cast page all written up and what’s more I like it. But no!
• changing the color palette again. Ehhh what’s the point
• changing the art really. Ehhh what’s the point.
• fast-forwarding five years. Sara is married! So is Beans. To different people! And Skeleton Warrior has Baby Skeleton Warrior.
• Nobody Scores Babies. Yup.
• getting them a new sofa. Never!
Everything else is, as douchebags say, on the table. I have a few things I’m gonna try to post – no promises, promises lead to failure and jinxing – while I’m away, which will be until the middle of September I believe. Until then
STAY AWAY FROM ME WITH YOUR FIENDISH MAWS
This is the best Calvin & Hobbes parody comic since the one with the Ritalin from back when. I have no idea who made this. The new one. I am not sure who made the old one either, now that I think about it. But it’s uglier.
Do you know the number to Heaven? You will in thirty seconds.
A Lego blog! Pictures of things people have made out of Lego, in handy blog form.
I sort of hope my comics are this stupid. Keep reading, you with the Lydia-from-Beetlejuice-snarl, it builds up.
Oh my god, have you heard The Knux? Because damn. These guys mix hip-hop and rock like there was never any difference to begin with. Yeah, I know, Outkast, but Outkast never quite pulled it off like this (Dracula’s Wedding is great, but not a rap song). Why hadn’t I heard of these guys before? I blame you.
Dropular is the coolest image feed I have seen in quite some time. It’s all web 2.0 and shit.
I love real life moments. You may not think so, but I do.
Hopefully I will be back soon with more stuff! That is, before comics resume. Please restrict all discombobulations to the proper receptacle.