Go to content Go to navigation Go to search

breaking news about fungus

I’ve grown increasingly addled of late. Besides the creepingly later comics schedule of course, the latest capstone was this: having procured an unexpected windfall of tax-free moolah, I finally went splurgy and got me a technological marvel, a MacBook Pro iPhone credit default swap Nintendo DS. Yes, you too can stay up to date with the latest in four-years-ago technology: pursue a career in the arts! Anyway so I get like three games to go with, and one is Brain Age.

It is a necessary bit of exposition that I was a whiz kid nerd in high school, valedictorian and all that. Kids, see what academic achievement can get you, it’s awesome. But Brain Age mortifyingly, humiliatingly, crushingly sets my brain age at 49. FOUR TEE NINE. The fuck?

It’s not like I even fucked up the quizzes! Ok, I did take the test at like 3:15 AM when I shoulda gone to bed but still, this is awful and I am worthless. So today I set out to find the source of this problem and also my freakish allergy plague. I should have guessed what the problem was:

FUNGUS. Really and truly. Growing behind a stack of posterboard at the head of my bed was a titanic splotch of black mold. It loomed, people. Luckily, it was vulnerable to standard-issue mold-and-mildew spray and now This House Is Clean.

What this means to you is that you can either expect a quick return to mental competence on the part of your cartoonist, or else the author’s brain is being consumed by the fungus even as we speak: however doctors predict this will result in no detectable effect on the quality or nature of this cartoon product.

THIS SPACE RESERVED

for leavening these unending paragraphs of personal blahdeblah with links to more interesting things elsewhere on the internet. Sadly I can detect nothing interesting on the internet at the moment.