I came back! What are the odds. Guess I am going to have to start telling people I am doing comics again though apparently that cat is clean out of the bag, people told people, etc. My heart grew three sizes that day, which my lungs found really problematic but fuck lungs, right? I mean that’s what I always say, especially when I am in the grocery aisle an extra long time.

EXTRA NON NOBODY SCORES CONTENT

When I started gearing up scripts for the return of Nobody Scores I spat out a few of these Horrible First Pitch things. This one is a little late, I know. I have a few more and I’m going to attach them to the next few NS comics and catch up with real time surprisingly fast, you’ll see, and you’ll suffer! But no more than me because 2k10 is shaping up to be the worst movie year I’ve sat through and eyebeglazed at trailers in a real long time. Seriously, I’ve seen one good flick and it’s June, people.

BUT BUT BUT

- Toy Story 3. I dunno. Can you get worked up about this? I cannot get worked up about this. I mean, I am sure it is perfectly engineered. Flawless fuckin’ Pixar storytelling, etc. etc. Yeah? Just… can’t… muster… awshit you know and I know I’m gonna and you’re gonna wind up seeing this thing anyway. It’s the inevitability of it. There’s no suspense!

– Scott Pilgrim. You should be super excited about Scott Pilgrim, you say, because you draw a webcomic! Okay look. Source material has got shit to do with movie quality. Like, did you see Watchmen? That movie was so terrible (exegesis later on request, so probably not) it made the comic worse in retrospect. Contrast Kick-Ass, which from all reliable accounts utterly transcends the shit comic from which it sprouted (I have not felt compelled to read said comic, b/c of general reports that it is shit, so disclaimer &c, but the movie: pretty ace) – so. Here, the primary factors are the benevolent force of Edgar Wright vs. the malign aura of Michael Cera’s typecasting. That is all. The significantly great storytelling and sorta iffy art of the comic is of no importance in how these things work. I can’t tell how it’s gonna shake out from the trailers. So I am waiting on the reviews for this one.

The real curse is that the one movie I was genuinely excited about seeing like right now – has instead gotten mired in distribution hell. The wise know of what movie I speak: it is of course Tucker And Dale vs. Evil and by all rights it should be running over every other contender this summer if the trailer and advance reviews are anything to go by at all. If it is not released this summer, I beseech you: riot! Rioting is great for solving problems, especially my problems.